Russians on vacation

I really don't want to seem xenophobic but....

Women group together and herd off the kids

It's really annoying the way that a lot of the women with small kids seem to hang around in packs without their husbands and then allow their small children to roam freely around the place annoying many innocent couples who are just trying to have some quality time together. If one of us childless couples so much as gave one of their kids an angry look I'm sure we'd be badly thought of for it for starters, but at the same time we are expected to tolerate hours of yelling and grizzling without a care for how we feel about it

Men disappear for what appears to be clandestine meetings

All the while that these women hang out together, smoking endless cigarettes and talking to each other in their loud annoying voices, the husbands are often nowhere to be seen for ages. I noticed on a couple of occasions that they seemed to be meeting up in different places around the island for what looks like little clandestine meetings. Maybe they're plotting a coup to overthrow the Maldivian government and claim the whole place for themselves – they seem to be gradually overrunning the islands anyway.

Almost total lack of manners by western standards

It constantly seems to us that many of them are very abrupt, and rude, to the anyone on the island. They constantly demand this and that and very few of them seem to smile let alone say a quick thank-you when the requested service has been delivered. Apparently though they are not to be blamed for this behaviour. Oh no. This apparently is how they normally act when they are at home and think it's also the way to carry on when they're in someone else's country because “they don't know any different”. Sounds like they need some lessons in how to be gracious to your host if you ask me! Maldivians are so friendly and polite being anything but the same in return is just rude – wherever you come from.

Unhappy faces

Why do they always look so serious and stern – surely living in Russia can't be that bad – although maybe it is! Normally when you're walking around, most people will acknowledge each other with a quick hello, or a nod, or something at least. The Russian way seems to be to completely blank you. If you've managed, after some considerable effort, to make some vague eye contact with one you usually just get the same miserable look and zero reaction even if you dare to say something to them.

Women

Russian women seem to come in two varieties – very slim (actually a bit on the skinny side) and typically with bleached hair, and the sort that looks like they still drive a tractor for a living most days. For some reason there really don't seem to be many that fall into that middle ground. The annoying thing about the slim ones is that they act as though they think they look like something straight out of a glossy magazine, posing and preening at every opportunity, never missing a chance to catch their own reflection, and always strutting around scanning to see who's eyeing them up. Actually compared to most western women they often do look a bit odd, and certainly over the top, so usually they are not being eyed up by anyone for any of the reasons they'd like. One we saw this afternoon, who had managed to get noticed by a lot of people because of her posing and attention grabbing clothes, actually spent some considerable time out on one of the piers taking her own picture over and over!

And another thing about Russian women is the colour of their hair. They seem to have a preference for an odd orange-blond colour, never actually seen anywhere else, or hair that is so dyed that it looks like strands of nylon. I wouldn't be surprised if in their bathrooms at home they didn't have three taps, hot water, cold water, and peroxide such is their apparent liking for this look. Of course they could save all that bleaching by just draping one of those fibre-optic lamps across their heads. This would have the added benefit of it also being able to light up at night therefore enabling them to attract even more attention to themselves.

And finally - look away now! - Men's swimwear

Looking at the swimwear worn by the men from the various nations represented here, it seems obvious to me that the further east you come from the more brief the swimwear you like to wear is likely to be. Men from the UK, Germany, and France seem to favour the knee length baggy shorts. Those from Italy and Greece seem to go more for the slightly tighter shorts. But the men from Russia, usually with accompanying large gut, love the briefest of briefs, a bit like the ones that used to be worn by competition swimmers, or professional wrestlers a few years ago. They can't possibly look in the mirror when they put these things on otherwise they'd surely never emerge and impose this terrifying look on the general public. But hey, in the Russian mind maybe this is a real cool look!

Another Maldives vacation

We've just got back from another fabulous three weeks (almost) on Royal Island in the Maldives and the improvements that we saw this year included a lot of effort that had been put into the gardens, not that there was anything wrong with them before, but now they are better than ever. Also four years they've finally got new towels at last!! and very nice they are too. Thick and fluffy with a Royal Island logo embossed into them.

The costs were very similar this year and all the prices are still pretty good for most things – so no major changes there. But no more fancy table decorations for birthdays and anniversarys – we both had a birthday and our anniversary and got nothing special whereas all the other years we had something very special.

As always the staff are one of the very best reasons for coming here and are as happy and friendly as ever. They always remember all the little details that make you feel they really care.

The only real problem was too many Russians! I guess it's a sign of the times, or maybe this is an easy place for them to get to, but either way Western Europeans are greatly outnumbered by Russians. Many (but certainly not all of them) are quite unfriendly and can be very abrupt with the staff. They rarely seem to say much even though it seems they can speak English when they want to. One week we were there the same group of them would regularly completely take over the pool area leaving no chance for anyone else to use the sunbeds or general area.

One particular Russian family dominated the pool bar in the evenings and constantly (and loudly) played DVDs on a laptop for all their kids much to the annoyance of all around. When a German kid sat down with his phone on speaker the Russian mother really layed into him for annoying her kids, even tough she would spend the every evening strutting up and down the pool area yelling into her phone – I guess we were all supposed to think that was OK.

Maybe we just timed it badly but there were a lot of children there this year which also meant the pool area was a very noisy place to be (even if you were lucky enough to get a sun bed). Of course the parents, as always, are totally oblivious to the noise and nuisance their kids are causing to some people around them. There has to be a huge market for child free vacations.

Next year we'll go at a different time in a bid to avoid the Russians and the kids.